Back-to-School Worries: Supporting Yourself and Your Child

 For parents of children with SEND, the approach of a new school term can bring a mix of emotions. Excitement, relief, and pride often sit alongside worry and even a little dread. It’s completely normal to feel this way. You may be thinking about your child’s emotional well-being, whether they’ll settle back into routines, or how they’ll manage in the classroom, and you might also feel the pressure to advocate for them right away.

Take a deep breath: it’s okay to feel all of this. You’re not alone, and feeling a little anxious, shows just how much you care.

Understanding the Emotional Landscape

 Returning to school after the summer can be stressful for children with SEND. Some may have struggled without the structure that school provides during the holidays; others find the start of term overwhelming and anxious about routines, friendships, or the workload. Studies show that around 65% of children with SEND report feeling worried about returning to school, and many parents notice changes in behaviour or mood in the first few weeks.

It’s helpful to remember that these worries are temporary. With support, preparation, and a bit of patience, children usually adjust and often more quickly than we expect. Your calm and reassurance can make a big difference.

Gentle Preparation at Home

At home, small routines can go a long way in easing the transition. In our house, we’ve started moving back to a more predictable bedtime, gently reducing late nights, and creating pockets of one-on-one time.

We’ve blocked 20 minutes before bedtime for each child to connect one-to-one with a parent. They might choose to read a book, do a puzzle, or simply talk about their day. These moments aren’t just about routines, they’re an opportunity to listen, reassure, and notice small changes that might affect their time at school. Over the years, we’ve found these quiet times often reveal the little worries or triumphs children haven’t shared during the day. Blocking in this time also helps to ensure bedtime does not get pushed back.

What to Communicate to School

It’s natural to want to cover everything on day one, but a thoughtful approach often works best. Prioritise urgent matters: health needs, medication, sensory supports (like ear defenders), and strategies that help your child manage stress or overwhelm.

Other conversations, like academic adjustments or social support plans, can wait a few days. This allows staff to observe your child in the classroom before making changes, and shows them you trust their professional judgment while still advocating for your child’s needs.

Observing and Reflecting

 The first weeks back are an important time for observation. Notice how your child adapts to routines, transitions, and social interactions. Are they tired, anxious, or unusually quiet? Are there moments of joy or success?

Keep a gentle record of changes you see between home and school, small shifts in mood, energy, or confidence can give staff valuable insights. This helps you and the school respond proactively rather than reactively. These notes may also help you to gain support in the future either through an EHCP or other agencies involved.

Advocating Without Overwhelm

 Many parents feel like they need to jump into “fight mode” as soon as term begins. It’s natural to want to protect and advocate for your child, but it’s also okay to step back, observe, and prioritise. Advocacy doesn’t always mean confrontation, it often means noticing patterns, communicating calmly, and collaborating with school staff to support your child’s success.

Even if you’re in the middle of the EHCP process, keeping track of where you are, what needs chasing, and any updates from school can help you stay on top of things without feeling overwhelmed.

Looking Ahead

 We also live in a time of uncertainty. With the autumn SEND White Paper expected soon, many parents are understandably anxious about what changes might come and how they might affect their children. As a SEND parent myself, I am also in the dark as to what these changes may be and how they will affect my children. It’s normal to feel unsure, but what’s constant is your commitment to your child. As always, we will continue to advocate, support, and ensure our children have the tools they need to thrive, whatever changes lie ahead.

A Warm Reminder

Back-to-school time can feel heavy, but it can also be a time of small victories, reconnection, and growth. Celebrate each success, however small, and give yourself grace when things feel hard. Your love, attention, and thoughtful preparation already set your child up for a positive start.

Remember, you don’t need to have everything perfect. Just showing up, noticing, and responding with patience and understanding makes a huge difference. You’ve got this, and your child knows it too.

As always. If there is anything I can help with. Please don’t hesitate to get in contact.